My husband came home one day with a heavy heart. We were so busy with the kids, church and other tasks, he had to wait until the end of the day to share with me what had happened. As he began to pour out his heart to me, I felt grief consume me. I was offended by what happened to him but I kept silent. I struggled to keep my thoughts to myself but I knew I had to. He went further into detail about what had taken place and I kept thinking, “How could this happen to him?” I was appalled but I felt the Holy Spirit refrain me from speaking. One of our kids called for my attention, so I left my husband’s presence without muttering one word to him in response. Typically my husband would follow me around as I cared for our kids, asking for my thoughts but this time he didn’t. God needed to speak first.
Proverbs 31:11 came up in my heart: “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” If I had spoken too soon, my husband would have picked up on my negative attitude toward the situation. He would’ve reacted foolishly and made the situation worse, all because he was inspired by his emotional wife. Since my husband trusts me, he trusts my counsel and insight. I could’ve easily misdirected him into a destructive path albeit unintentionally. The repercussions would’ve affected him and our family greatly. Thankfully I had enough sense to wait to hear what God had to say regarding the matter and I didn’t just unleash the sentiments of my heart.
Later that evening, we were able to take some time again to talk. I was very prayerful about what I would share with him. I explicitly told him in response to the incident, I would only share what God had to say and not what
my emotions wanted to say. In that moment I shared with him the scriptures God laid on my heart. Immediately, I saw his countenance become lifted and his heart was encouraged. In that moment, I was reminded of the influence I have on my husband.
Why are women incredibly influential? Truly the power, sway and the influence of a woman is remarkable. It has nothing to do with how we’ve been raised, where we come from or what we’ve accomplished. It’s simply how we were created and designed. Every woman is influential! Our love is desired, our words are eagerly sought after, our beauty is captivating and our embrace is nurturing. The influence of a woman is profoundly powerful.
- Women can be persuasive. Whether it was good or bad, from the beginning of the Bible, we see the persuasiveness of women. With the first couple in the Garden of Eden (Gen 3), without much effort Eve persuaded Adam to eat from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, persuaded her husband to no longer wait for God’s promise to transpire; instead she encouraged him to take another woman so he could bare a son (Gen 16). One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about a woman named Abigail. She sways David, the King of Israel, from acting out of anger and covers the foolishness of her husband, Nabal (1 Samuel 25). Delilah, whom always astonishes me, somehow persuades Samson to reveal his deepest secret to her (Judges 16), despite what happens to him each time he opens up to her. Its apparent God has made women persuasive beings. My prayer is as women of influence, we guard our hearts, and refrain from misleading others but instead aim to build others up.
- Wives have the potential to enhance or deplete their husband’s health. It’s a tough pill to swallow when you can imagine the depth of the role you play in your husband’s health. Prov. 12:4 tells us, ” A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.” Cancer is such a destructive and evil disease. It’s crazy to think a wife has the capability to be as deadly as cancer to her husband. Still when we are disgraceful, bitter, cold and unresponsive to our husbands it is like we develop a clot or a tumor in their bodies. With God’s help, we can be the wives that adorn their husbands by virtue and grace.
I discovered a quote by J.R. Miller, a Christian author, whom once wrote:“Again let me say that no wife can over-estimate the influence she wields over her husband, or the measure in which his character, his career and his every destiny are laid in her hands for shaping. The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is mighty and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as queen of his life, she can do with him as she will. Even unconsciously to her herself, without any thought of her responsibility, she will exert over him an influence that will go far toward making or marring all his future.” As wives, we hold our husband’s hearts, we have their ears and we have their confidence. Let us be careful to enrich the lives of our husbands and carry their confidence with sensitivity.
- Women have the ability to build or tear down their homes. Proverbs 14:1 states: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” I’ve been in a home where it felt cold. I had to be careful of what words I used, because shoulders were continually rubbed the wrong way. It was as if strife was a welcomed guest and the only tone in the home was at a few octaves higher than the norm. As women we have the incredible ability to make a house a home or a building with cold walls. Although most women are more sensitive and have a gift of discernment, we have to be careful not to wear our emotions on our sleeves. We cannot allow ourselves to be easily offended. We are creating the ambiance of a home that our children will glean from.
We’ve all heard of the cliché: “Happy wife, happy life” It carries some validity! Proverbs 21:9 tell us:”It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” Proverbs 25:24 similarly states:”It is better to live in a corner of the roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Our homes are meant to be a sanctuary to us, our children and our spouses. I want my home to be a place of peace; but I need to realize God has given me the nails and hammer to construct it. My husband was ordained by God to be the head of my home; but God has entrusted me to be the one to build it!
- Women have the ability to set a moral standard for her family. As women we can set the moral standard in the home whether for good or bad. One bad example in the Bible is with Jezebel. She deals with her husband’s disappointment wickedly. He coveted another man’s property, so Jezebel arranged the murder of the landowner to appease her husband. Jezebel lowered the moral standard of her home and her husband followed after. Her horrible scheming led to a destructive future for her entire family. We cannot minimize the power of our decisions when we lower our moral standards.
We can find more examples with Miriam, Moses’ sister. In Exodus 15, after she and her family were set free from years of bondage, she lead them in worship. Everyone followed after Miriam in her thanksgiving to God. She taught her family how to be thankful! However in Numbers 12, she allowed corruption to enter her heart toward her brother, Moses, through jealousy. Miriam started a rebellion which stopped an entire nation from moving forward. Whether women have good or bad intentions, we’re impacting the people around us. We can lead our children, spouses, friends and even strangers down destructive paths. If we can use our influence to set the morality of our homes to God’s standards, we can position our families and others toward a brighter future. Women are world-shapers!
- The Godly example of a Woman can compel others to conversion. Undoubtedly we are examples to our children and they are watching how we live our lives. Our impact is incomparable and it’s lasting. Paul wrote to Timothy how he observed the same strong, genuine faith in Timothy’s mother and grandmother and he noticed how it passed down to Timothy (2 Tim 1:5). We are living examples to our children and they’re learning how to live a Christ-centered life from us. Even if our spouses are not Christians, our living example speaks louder to them than our words. If we demonstrate to our husbands God’s love, forgiveness, and kindness, we can win over our husbands. Hold on to the promise in 1 Peter 3:1-2, it says: “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” Don’t underestimate your living example as a Godly woman. You’re influential!
God has uniquely designed each and every one of us. When we doubt our value or influence, we are going against the very fabric of our being. Not once has God doubted us or taken a second guess on whether or not we can be a positive influence to others. He knew our husbands, and children would need the persuasiveness of a woman to set them on the right track. He created us with the gift of influence to help our families. Don’t doubt yourself. Look to God for your strength, guidance and conviction. The world is birthed through you and it’s molded by your power of influence. The question we need to ask ourselves is “how will we use it?”
Honestly, growing up I never recognized the influence I had as a young woman. I didn’t realize if I set a standard, others would follow. It wasn’t until I courted my husband and I was firm on my convictions in our relationship. He loved and respected my stance, so he was willing to arise to them. If we can teach our young girls about the power they have, they will not feel powerless or easily pressured. Before they become mothers and shape our future, lets help them to understand who God created them to be…women of positive influence.